DEATH BATTLE! Sans VS Mewtwo
by CompleteIndie
Summary: Pitting pop culture's deadliest characters in a duel to the death! Experts Wiz and Boomstick analyze each fighter's weapons, armor, and skills... and then the battle begins! Who will win? Who will die? Today's episode... SANS VS. MEWTWO!


**The beloved comic, a fan favourite skeleton, is Sans.**

 **Meanwhile, in the Kanto region, we have the ultimate life-form, Mewtwo!**

 **It is our job to analyze their weapons, armour, and abilities to see who would win...**

 **A DEATH BATTLE!**

* * *

 **Sans is a skeleton with a kind SOUL. Get it?**

 **Was that the best you could do?**

 **Sans is a skeleton from the game UNDERTALE, and a resident of Snowdin. He has an older brother Papyrus, who is a sweet little cinnamon roll.**

 **Shame Sans got in the way when I killed him.**

 **Boomstick. Did you take the Genocide Route?**

 **...Maybe.**

 **Sigh... Oh well. Sans is a comedian of his own class, a defending brother, prankster, punster, and, if you kill everyone he loves, a dunkster.**

 **Why did I SPARE him?**

 **No clue. Sans has psychokinesis, the ability to control bones, teleportation skills, the ability to summon powerful weapons called Gaster Blasters, and knowledge of timelines.**

 **What about his attack power?**

 **That's the thing. Sans is rather weak, stat wise, with one HP, one ATK, and one DEF. In other words, Sans is technically the weakest enemy in gaming history.**

 **How did he kill me?!**

 **Karmic Retribution. The more violent a person is, the more Sans can harm them. He ignores the normal mercy invincibility enemies in Undertale give, because at this point, you don't get mercy of any kind.**

 **Oh. So someone with a level of 100 could get killed instantly.**

 **Not quite. You see, Sans has a few weakness. He low stats mean his Karmic Retribution can only deal so much damage so fast, and it can't kill a person till they are already are the verge of death.**

 **Oh. Makes sense... I think. But, with his HP and DEF stats, doesn't that mean he would get killed with a single hit?**

 **Yes. Sans has low stats, his HP stat especially known. However, with teleportation, Sans can dodge attacks easily. He is lazy, and is blinded with rage when someone kills his dear Papyrus. But, that just makes him stronger than you.**

 **Are you referencing that Steven Universe parody?**

 **...**

 **Sans:** it's a beautiful day outside, birds are singing, flowers are blooming, on days like these, kids like you... SHOULD BE BURNING IN HELL.

* * *

 **Years ago, a brilliant scientist named Dr. Fuji was working to create a brand new life form which would change the world.**

 **That's great and all, but he had something else in mind.**

 **Fuji hoped his experiments would help him discover a way to resurrect the person he cherished most: his deceased daughter, Amber.**

 **With unlimited resources funded by mob money, he figured out how to clone his daughter's...ball of...consciousness. Because science.**

 **But before he could finish, he had to create the most powerful Pokémon, a clone of the legendary Mew.**

 **And he named him...Mewtwo.**

 **Yeah, Fuji wasn't very creative when it comes to naming, but when you can create a new life form with nothing but a fossilized eyelash, you know you're a master of genetic engineering, a field I'd love to get more experience in myself.**

 **Told you a thousand times, Wiz; you're not gonna alter my DNA!**

 **(chuckles nervously) Wh-What are you talking about? I would never do that.**

 **Always watching, Wiz. Always.**

 **Growing up in a test tube, Mewtwo's only companions were Fuji's other test subjects, including Amber herself, through some sort of psychic link.**

 **Amber taught Mewtwo about the sun, the moon, tears, and you know, life stuff. Oh, and also death, when she died for good right in front of him.**

 **Worrying this may be too mentally traumatic for the still infant Mewtwo, Dr. Fuji's team erased all memory of her. Unfortunately, this left Mewtwo with a feeling of loss and confusion and no memories to explain why.**

 **With nothing else to do, Mewtwo ****decided to take out all his aggression on all of humanity. Then he turned some stupid kid into stone, a bunch of Pokémon cried, and Mewtwo figured out humans aren't so bad after all.**

 **Mewtwo is one of the most powerful Psychic type Pokémon, defeating its foes with the power of its mind.**

 **Hey, wait a minute. You keep calling him "it." Is Mewtwo a guy or a girl?**

 **Well, neither. Technically, it's genderless.**

 **Oh. How does it bang?**

 **It doesn't.**

 **Bummer. Well, one thing's for sure, it's got balls...**

 **Uh...**

 **Of ghost energy that blow holes in stadiums! Add an onslaught of undodgeable stars, multiple types of defensive shields, and a healing ability for when those shields don't quite cut it.**

 **Alongside it's other abilities, Mewtwo's favorite move is Psychic, a powerful form of telekinesis. With it, Mewtwo can effortlessly send enemies as heavy as a five hundred pound Onix flying through the air.**

 **He can even make himself fly like a Zubat outta hell.**

 **Also, it can augment it's melee combat with psychic energy, or occasionally a massive spoon.**

 **Would you say he sometimes...spoons his enemies?**

 **No, nothing about Mewtwo is cuddly. Especially when it uses Hyper Beam or Psystrike, attacks so strong, they can incapacitate the toughest of Pokémon in a single hit.**

 **And when trouble comes a knockin', Mewtwo answers the door with a badass Mega Evolution.**

 **Mewtwo is one of the few Pokémon capable of Mega Evolving without the assistance of a trainer. As Mega Mewtwo Y, it gains enormous boosts in strength, defense, and speed.**

 **Making Mewtwo powerful enough to fly into space while carrying a robot bug monster.**

 **Fast enough to breach escape velocity, over twenty five thousand miles per hour, over thirty two times the speed of sound.**

 **So, really, really fast.**

 **Mewtwo is so skilled in its psychic prowess, it can wipe specific memories from dozens of people at once.**

 **On top of all that, it can survive a massive amount of abuse, like the time it got double impaled by an alien Pokémon's tentacles. Shouldn't they censor that?**

 **It effortlessly defeated most of the Pokémon Champion's team, including a legendary Articuno. It also teleported an entire crater lake from the top of Mt. Quena. This lake is comparable to a similar body of water in the real world, Lake Quilotoa, which holds over 385 million tons of water.**

 **Wow, that's almost enough power to lift my ex-wife on buffet day.**

 **Being a psychic Pokémon, Mewtwo is naturally weak to bug, ghost, and dark type damage. Strange Dr. Fuji didn't pull that code out of his DNA, but whatever.**

 **Hey, you gotta have some sort of failsafe when your making the world's most powerful Pokémon.**

 **Ah, yes, the ultimate failsafe against the most powerful psychic Pokémon...bugs!**

 **Oh God, it's a Caterpie! Get it away, its ooky!**

 **Mewtwo** : I was not born a Pokémon, I was created, and my creators have used and betrayed me, so I stand alone!

* * *

Sans is relaxing in the snow. He is chatting with his brother Papyrus.

"so, bro. what are you thinking about?" The comedian asked.

"NOT MUCH. JUST THAT WEIRD PURPLE ENERGY ORB HURTLING TOWARDS MY FACE."

"oh, that go-what?! paps, duck!"

Papyrus wasn't quick enough, and his head was blown off.

His body turned to dust, leaving the scarf he always wore.

"paps..." Sans muttered, wrapping the scarf around his neck.

"who did this?" Sans screamed through Snowdin Forest. Then, Sans noticed the glowing energy.

"listen, dirty brother killer. you are gonna hav bad time..." Sans' smile grew wider when he saw Mewtwo.

"it's a beautiful day outside. birds are singing, flowers are blooming. on days like these, pokèmon like you... SHOULD BE BURNING IN HELL." Sans proceeded to use his strongest attack on Mewtwo. Who dodged expertly. Mewtwo teleported when he hit the ground, threw a Shadow Ball annihilating the bone wall, and used Protect to block Gaster Blasters.

"hmm... always wondered why people never used their strongest attack first. welp. here we go."

(Cue 'Waters of Megalovania)

Mewtwo threw a Shadow Ball at Sans. Who teleported.

"hmm.. two can play that game."

Mewtwo read Sans mind, foreseeing the circling Gaster Blasters Sans was going to use. Sans teleported Mewtwo into the circle, but Mewtwo used Protect. It worked, but three Protects was unlikely. Sans smiled.

"now, i'd say stuff about you being an anomaly... but you aren't. welp. time to just give up then."

Mewtwo started throwing Shadow Balls, which missed Sans, either for teleporting, or for countering it with a bone. Eventually, the LV 100 Mewtwo got hit by the full force of a Gaster Blaster. **MEWTWO 64/322** With the effects of KARMA and whatnot, Mewtwo had over half his body burned. He was in this still, but wounded.

Mewtwo, weakened and panicking, starts running. Yes, running. Sans teleports however in front of Mewtwo.

"look, it's a beautiful day, like i said, and i was thinking. you might, some other place, be what i could call... a friend? look, mewtwo, I'm sparing you."

The Genetic Pokémon looks happy, and walks up to Sans, open embrace. Sans smiles more.

"thanks, mewtwo. look, give me a hug."

But before Mewtwo could hug Sans, the comedian summoned a bone to impale the Genetic Pokémon, nice and quickly.

"get dunked on."

* * *

 **Well, that was rather quick.**

 **Indeed.**

* * *

 **Sans had an advantage due to Mewtwo's high Levels of Violence. Mewtwo had a high LV, so Mewtwo, who got a direct hit by a Gaster Blaster, was harmed brutally.**

 **Yes. As a direct hit from a Gaster Blaster does 49 damage (with Karmic Retribution) to someone with an LV of 19, someone with an LV of 100 - Like Mewtwo - would instead take 257 damage to Mewtwo.**

 **That is going to leave a mark.**

 **Indeed.**

 **Sans was fated to win, with, against Mewtwo's high LV, Sans proved that stats don't matter. If Mewtwo lasted MUCH longer...**

 **What, would Sans fall asleep or something?**

 **Yes. However, Sans' high patience, high damage output, and his teleportation skills all assisted.**

 **The winner of this DEATH BATTLE is...**

 **SANS!**


End file.
